Are we having FUN yet?

>>I think, oh, other people are having way more fun so that's what I must be doing wrong.

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I see a lot of people get stuck on this. I think because we are only seeing or hearing a small part of what goes on in each others worlds. I don't blog about days that we spend a lot of time watching TV or reading or daydreaming. It just isn't that interesting to read :-) And usually it is a period we are all (or some of us) reflecting rather than doing.

Recipe for a FUN home:

Fun, loving, connected parent

Unlimited freedom, space to be

New and exciting things to explore


I am just kind of thinking out loud here. The specifics look different in each families home. But in general to live with joy these are the basic ingredients. I set my home up for success. Success for my kids to live joyFULL lives.

We have space to run, jump, climb and when we had a smaller house with little yard I took them places frequently to run, explore, and use their bodies. We have space to play quietly and noisily without being disturbed. We have space to create and get messy. We have furniture that is kid friendly (I love our older leather sofas!). Our house is kept in a manner that they can move and create and be kids. It isn't up to BH&G standards but we are happy with it.

My kids have the freedom to choose their day and what is fun for them, exploring a new outdoor place or quietly sitting at the computer or an art project or helping with a house project or reading a book, etc. I have ideas available for people to choose from if they need help. I will often ask if they would like to do something quiet (read a story with me, etc) or do something active (play with the physical therapy ball or trampoline, etc) or create (cook, art, etc). I will just offer a couple things at a time to not overwhelm. And when my kids are doing their own thing, I use that as a time to do my own thing. That is sometimes create a clean space for more adventure or knit or read, or a new passion.

They have the materials they need to do the things they enjoy. We also look for new and enticing things that we think they might like or that they ask for. We find stuff at thrift stores, yard sales, craigslist, freecycle, the free store, online, swaps with friends etc. Each of our family members have a vision board. That has all the things (tangible and conceptual) we want to bring into our lives.

I am not happy all the time. My kids are not happy every moment. But we live a happy fun life. When we feel dissatisfied we do what needs to be done to change it. Only you can decide if you are living a FUN and JOYFULL life. As soon as you decide that you do, you will!

School

I was scared of Malila going to school. At first i felt like it represented failure. I failed to give her a life with enough excitement without school. I felt like she wanted to "get away" from me. Yeah, basically I made her decision all about me. And it isn't.

Malila wanted to try school because she craves and thrives on new experiences. She needed to know first hand what goes on in school. She is a scientist and researcher. She is also writing a novel and wants to know truthfully how to incorporate the culture of school into her characters. This is a grand adventure for her.

She has really enjoyed some parts of school. She loves gym, chorus and lunch. She has met interesting and cool new people. She has learned more about how to do things the school way.

She doesn't like her science teacher. She doesn't like the way most of the teachers talk down to and disrespect the students. She doesn't like that the teachers just plow through stuff whether you know it or not. And conversely if you know something and they aren't done "teaching" then you have to wait.

She is fascinated by the culture and social scene of school. So far she is enjoying herself. I am happy that she has a fun new experience. School wasn't for me. But then again I was there against my will. She can go or not. Do homework or not. It doesn't matter if she passes or fails on quizzes or tests. I will not punish her to anything much less school stuff.

Here are some photos from her first week.

Malila's first day of school!



Her second day. After this she wanted to get up by herself and do it all.



Her fabulous Grr shoes :-)

Some recent Photos

I recently got a new camera. It's a lot of fun. I have been experimenting with aperture and f stops and lighting and angles. You know, dating my camera :-) I am loving it. And I love shooting my family, so...



Easy and Zola at the Serenity Station. It started raining so we found a moment of cover.



My little gypsy spinning in the leaves.



Malila joined our walk at some point. Zola ran to her with open arms. This is them on a bench while I helped Easy with his shoes.




Malila almost smiling!




I love the girls loving each other.




This big ugly gold chair on our porch is a popular spot. The colors were so much richer but I haven't figured out how to really capture that yet.





Dots. Zola loves taking things out of boxes and eating sweets. This was really fun for her.




She shines so brightly.




Always on the move. I don't' breed sedentary kids.




Zola has been wanting me to write "abcdefg's" lately. She dictated the names of family and friends and I wrote them.

Malila's big news

Malila has decided to attend school in the brick and mortar sense. She has been toying with this idea off and on for about a year. It is so exotic and interesting to her. She really wants to get this experience in before she is unable.

I am interested in seeing the schooled world through my deschooled eyes and through her never schooled eyes. I mean other than one day of "school" at home when she was 8 or 9 she has never been exposed to the world of school. Unless you want to count Disney but really does that count?

She is excited and worried all at the same time. She wants to know what it will be like before she gets there knowing that it isn't possible. She shared a bunch of fears and concerns today. They were small little things that schooled kids take for granted (what is I have to go to the bathroom?) and more normal things that the majority of kids fear (what if there is nowhere to sit at lunch?)She is excited about this slight fear, its new and delicious.

She is concerned about losing time for her passions. And really, so am I. She does so much on her own. She has been writing a novel and plans to participate in NaNoWriMo in the 12 and under category. This is what she does on her own, without any prompting from me. Support yes, prompting none. She is a writer. She has recently stopped training for a triathlon but still has interest in doing so. She has recently started knitting and made a hat. She loves to create. How will she squeeze this all and whatever comes up in between school hours and homework and friends and other things. Time will tell.

I trust that she will find her balance. She will excel and be Malila no matter what her choices are. School or otherwise.

She said, "School is almost as exciting as going to Japan. It is so mysterious and exotic."

She starts 9 November so send her some love :-)

NaNoWriMo

I have known about this for years and have never participated. This year I am going to do it! 50,000 words in 30 days. It seems so industrious and perhaps a tad crazy. I mean I haven't even been keeping up the blog or even a pretense of keeping up the blog.

But among other things I am a writer. I have always loved to write and NEEDED to write to express myself. To unload some of the swirling mass of thoughts traipsing about my brain. I think so much :-)

I am excited.

reasons for homeschooling?

5) What are your reasons for homeschooling?

Autonomy:
There are many. I was part of the public school system for many years and in many cities and states. I have never attended one that met all my needs. I have a very high IQ and was labeled "gifted". I needed more freedom and more autonomy over my learning than was possible in a public school setting. I wanted to ensure my children had that autonomy and that they had all their needs met.

Individualized learning:
There are 30 children per teacher in many inner city public schools. Many burn out teachers, that are barely doing more than crowd control. At home my children have a variety of ratios from one on one to three to one. We can choose to be around other people and do work with them or not. My children have individual attention, that is important to me.

Safety:
There are no bullies at home.

Continuity:
My children are free to explore what they want when they want. If they are in the middle of work that is enjoyable and engaging they do not have to stop to move onto another subject or project. That can see things through to completion or at least until they get what they need from the work.

Diversity and Socialization:
My kids are socialized around humans of various ages, genders, races, abilities, etc. The whole world is open for them to explore. This is the most important reason we homeschool. I don't want my children raised largely by other children their age. They are wholly part of our family and an integral part of our world.

Freedom and Joy for Learning:
My children are obligated to take the standardized testing as deemed necessary by our state. Many schools teach specifically to the tests available. My children are free to learn what is natural and integrated into their real lives. My oldest has scored top marks on all the tests in all the subjects giving. She has never once had a text book or worksheet. She has learned all the concepts because they are important and real. They are a part of who she is not a body of knowledge forced into her. This is important to me. She has a real spark, a joy for learning and discovering (still at almost 13).

Joyful Family and Wonderful People:
For these and many other reason we homeschool. I am not sure why you wrote that unschooling is not a valid way to homeschool but it works for our family. We have brilliant, out going, intelligent, bright, engaging, interesting, children. In fact the thing that sets them apart from their schooled friends is that light that emanates from their very beings.

Sunday update

GeoTagged, [N39.85235, E76.76554]


Malila,12, has been writing the greatest novel ever. She works on and off through the day putting in 6-7 hours each day. She has pages of data to keep her story staight. She researchs to keep things factual. She is dedicated author NOW. She is also training for her first triathlon. It's in a few weeks. She has gone from swimming one length then breaking to swimming 12 straight LAPS, since she started 4 months ago. She is biking 6-8 miles several times a week and was running daily but now runs the treadmill. I think she does 3.5 miles. Her goal is to finish it. It is an adult level triathlon. She has also taken up skateboarding and her little brother is showing her the ropes. She can Ollie and "not hit anything" when she skates down the street.

Easy, 6, is heavily into skateboarding, scootering and biking. He spends a lot of his life pursuing those things. He also loves his xbox. He recent got re-into pokemon. We have been playing that every night. I did my first battle with him and he whipped my butt! He completed the Sinnoh region and is now working on the National pokedex. Pokemon is more complecated than chess. He desires to read now and can recognize a few things. He is intrigued by script writting so we have been doing that a lot. His interest has shifted from a number fascination to letters and how they work. He can write E, L, M, W and O in script. He has also been drawing everyday. On Friday we ran into an old friend who complimented to me on his skills at handling his anger. This was a much needed comment as this has been a huge struggle for Easy.

Zola will be 2 this month. She has gone from a quiet barely speaking baby into an articulate sentence speaking child in just a couple short months! She loves to talk now. She also sings and remembers the lyrics to a bunch of songs. Especially Great Green Golbs, her favorite. She draws daily or paper and herself. She loves to follow her brother around a do everything he does. So she loves pokemon, legos, modeling with sculpey and Tom&Jerry. She is a happy sweet kid.

We have always unschooled but not radically. I came into it naturally from attachment parenting and a strong willed child :-) Malila knows herself well. My big hang ups that were keeping me from the shift to radical unschooling freedom were TV and food. Tv was evil (don't you know) and food HAD to be healthy (no junky stuff). Well went I discovered radical unschooling I was so drawn into the beautiful of the freedom and joy. I knew I needed to make the plunge to deal with my issues. Yes, tv and food were my issues not the kids.

So I am so thrilled to know that I have resolved my issues. I have shifted my perspectives and can lovingly and wholly give my children the gift of freedom. Over the past few months I have noticed a change in my kids about food (TV I resolved pretty quickly). I shut up about food and relaxed about a year ago. Yeah, it took me years to let it go. I reminded and judged. So it's taken my oldest about a year to "deschool" from my parenting. I can see that she is freely making food choices. It makese happy. The little ones were easy. They had never really been controlled. But M and I had this ugliness about food in our relationship. So I am pleased to say it is resolved.

Btw I love having a teen except when our hormones conflict. But then I don't like anything :-).